Finally I have gotten down to do some writing. Guess what, tomorrow is the first day of Chinese New Year (CNY) and what better way to start the Lunar New Year with the first blog post of 2017. CNY used to be my favourite holiday.. When i was younger, we would play firecrackers, mix around with the neighbours and the best thing is you get to stay up damn late on CNY eve. I would look forward to the fantabulous food and the ang paos.. $$$$$. Now CNY means being poorer and growing fatter. Amist all these, I think the most irritating thing is when you meet people and they ask you certain stuff which really make you feel like throwing 10,000 hedgehogs at them….
So how to survive those questions? Daddychow has some tips for you…
1. The most favourite question of all time (probably will last through the next 100000123478910 years) when you are not married is “Ah Boy/Ah Girl ah.. You not getting younger anymore la.. go find a girlfriend and get married.”.. You think find girlfriend/boyfriend so easy ah.. You think like buying clothes ah. Today buy, tomorrow throw.
First tip, go standby fake ring and wear for CNY. Second tip, you can consider to rent a boyfriend or girlfriend.. Confirm can find on Carousell! Cheap only…
2. The next most favourite question when you are married without kids. “Ah Boy/Ah Girl ah, when are you going to have kids.. you see your this and that cousin, so young already have kids.. sooo cute. C’mon, you never know the situation. Sometimes, conceiving is not easy and this is a very sensitive topic. Please for goodness sake, you should not be asking this question. For all you know, the couple might have gone through a failed IVF/IUI procedure…
One tip on how to survive this question.. Change the conversation topic immediately to something that will make your relative feel like on cloud nine… Auntie ah, the pineapple tart you make is da best .. melt in the mouth, taste so heavenly.. BAGUS!
3. When you are married with one or two kids and someone asks, when are you going to have more kids? This is the question that will surely pi** me off during this CNY if someone asks. Eh Hello… What has it got to do with you whether i have one, two or more kids..
One tip, you can defect the question back into the other side of the court. Your daughter also only got one/two kids le.. how come ah? I very keen to know.. Maybe I go ask her now can??? **walk over**
4. When your relative whom you only see once a year sees your kid and they pinch his/her cheek saying, ah yo! your kid so chubby and good looking... I will literally roll my eye.. .. Halo.. This one your kid or my kid? Don’t you even know some basic manners not to touch a kid without his/her parent’s permission. See no touch ok!
Two tips to tackle this…Either Tell your relative that your kid’s face has something that will cause their hand to itch for the next one month or kindly tell them that it is not nice to pinch other kid’s cheek. What if someone comes to pinch your cheek, will you like it or not?
5. When your relative asks about your career and starts comparing with their son/daughter/son in-law/daughter in-law, friend’s friend friend son or even their pet..Yes, even a pet has a job at home to do..
One tip to tackle this. Tell your relative, even the sweeper on the road has an important role to play. Being a sweeper is not lower than being a lawyer in a big firm. Everyone has their own role to play. At the end of the day, one must be happy in their job! This should shut their mouth quite immediately.
With this, I would like to wish everyone a Happy CNY. Keep Calm and eat more Bak Kua! 鸡年行大运!