Being a PARENT.. parent, Parent, PARENT..ARGH!!!! GRGGH!!. YAY!!! This word causes various kind of reactions to people. To some, they choose to shun away from it while others enjoy it. So what does DaddyChow think of this? Read on to find out more.
Parenting does train one to be more patient. I am not a patient person to begin with. I expect things to happen immediately. Living in a society where everything needs to be instant doesn’t really help me. A child is never patient. When they want something, they want it now. If they don’t get what they want after 3 seconds, the wailing and screaming will follow suit. If you are not patient, you will end up pissing each other off.. When you are more patient, you tend to be less angry too. Can you imagine, you are already so stressed at work and when you are back with your kid, the impatience causes you to lose your temper and be angry. This is definitely not going to help in your mental health. For me, it is a conscious effort to keep telling myself, Reuben is just a child, just have to let loose and be patient. =)
Yes! Parenting is an adventure. You never know what is going to happen the next day. One moment your child could be crawling, another moment, he/she could be running and jumping. Parenting is never complete without the highlights and the low-lights. Today, your child may like to eat bananas and the next day, he/she may detest bananas. Some days, your child may be following his/her usual routine and then suddenly out of the blue, your child may do something out of the ordinary to break the routine. Just learn to enjoy this adventure. Prep and mentally tell yourself “Everyday is going to be different”. It’s never going to be boring!
Is parenting relaxing? No! But we need to relax and chill while parenting. If not we can go crazy. Yes, my kid can drive me up the wall at times. I remember the days when he had colic, the nights were terrible and I turned into a zombie in the day. I will just tell myself, relax man! This is going to be over in a few weeks. True enough the colic went away after a few weeks. As parents, we need to find our chill pill. Everyone’s chill pill might be different, some of us needs shopping therapy, whereas for others, it may be going on a sugar high diet. Whatever it is, every parent needs some time out to relax. Guess what’s my chill pill, it’s blogging. Yes… blogging enables me to pen down my thoughts in my brain. I feel very relaxed whenever I am typing a blog post. Always look for your chill pill whenever you feel like giving up. It will turn your “giving up” into a “keep on keeping on” attitude.
A child can tell if you are enthusiastic about playing with them or you are just doing it for the sake of doing it. Children are not stupid and their sensing mastery level is probably at level 99. Never ever make a child feel worthless. If a child always feel that you are just doing things for the sake of doing it for them, they will start to feel not taken care off and not well loved. This can have a significant emotional impact in their growing up years. Of course saying this, I too am guilty of this at times. My line of work requires me to work late and sometimes even when I am at home, I still have to work from home in the night. I tend to leave everything to my wife to handle. Of course at times, I do play with my kid for a while then I will head back to my computer to continue working on my stuff. I do know at the back of my head that my son longs to have more quality play time. This is one thing that I am still working on and trying to see how I can balance work and family. Of course, weekends for me is almost a no-no for work unless I really have to.
There is a lot of talk about work-life balance. Maybe the right term to use would be “work-life integration”. Since it its tough to exactly spend 50 percent at work and another 50 percent with one’s family. Why not just try your best to integrate the 2 together. In some seasons there will be a need to work longer hours, in other seasons, it could be a time to enjoy and relax with one’s family. One needs to analyze the season of life he/she is in and then evaluate what is the best way to go about tackling this work-life integration “problem”.
Never give up attitude
Having a never-give up attitude is very important. Parenting will bring you lots of first times. Changing soiled diapers for the first time, feeding purees, feeding solids, seeing your kid fall and get up. Sometimes things may not go as what you planned. For example, halfway changing a soiled diaper and your kid decide to bury his face in the diaper.. How bad can that get. Well just clean your kid up and laugh it off. The next time it will get better. Never give up doing the little things for your kids.
Being truthful to your kids is so so important. I can never stress this thing about not telling lies to your kid. Kids pick up things very easily. I am sure you do not want your kid to grow up being a liar. Liar Liar pants on fire!!! Can you imagine what would happen when your kids grow up and they found out that everything that you told them was a big fat lie. Their heart will probably fail… Nah just kidding… but they will be so heartbroken and this will affect your relationship with your kids. That’s why I never tell my kids things like “If you do not eat finish your food, the policeman will catch you”. They will probably grow up to be afraid of the police. What if 20 years later, your kids are being robbed and beaten up, they would likely be afraid to make a police report! Always be truthful to your kids. Period!
As a parent, you got to be patient, learn to relax while on this amazing adventure, be enthusiastic, truthful and always have a never give up attitude. With these attitudes, your days of being a parent will definitely be much better. Parenting is tough! Yes and I say it once more, PARENTING IS TOUGH. But you can always choose to make parenting easier and fun. As we move from one parenting milestone to another, there will always be new challenges. The harder the challenge, the tougher you need to get! The more you need the right attitudes to persevere through.
I hope that my small insight sharing will encourage young couples to embrace parenting with the right mindset and attitude =)